English title: A soliloquy until a certain divorcee able to fully enjoy freedom.
Author: 桜鳴 颯祈
Raw: http://ncode.syosetu.com/n1032be/
One repentance.
I was the substitute. I knew it. I was just a doll who shared the same blood as my glittering younger sister. And that’s why he choose me as his wife.
If anything, in my opinion, it was my sister who was unusual. All the members of my family were ordinary, except for my sister. Yet, she still my kind and gentle family member. My excellent and dazzling sister quickly became an adult and accomplished many amazing things that elevated the status of our family. You could not help but felt affectionate towards her, right? Frankly, I felt a sense of alienation since she alone stands out from the rest of us. Nevertheless, my sister was also pitiful. However, that still doesn’t mean that my inferiority complex nor hatred towards her diminished.
….Yes. I knew about everything, and that was the reason I choose to acknowledge the other alternative to counter my hatred towards her.
That man loves my younger sister. However, my sister, who had become too accustomed to his familial love, had made him hesitated to bring their relationship to the next step. Maybe I should say that everything had turned in the right direction for me. Anyhow, that man and my younger sister assumed that no one knew about their hidden feeling. Therefore, they tried to hide their mutual love from each other; and if you carefully think about it, the story between these two people was actually quite tragic. And I was the villain that kept hindering their love story. To make it worse, I did not even harbour any feelings towards him. It was just that I did not want to be miserable. I only wish to snag the person who loves my younger sister. Yeah, so. Even though my feeling could not come true, I could not accept that my sister should be the only happy person around.
When I decided to marry him, it was a sight to see my younger sister’s reaction. Despair, sorrow, and jealousy. Even though her heart was full of such tragic thought, she desperately pushed it away as she gave me her blessing!
Please don’t misunderstand. Despite everything, I still love my younger sister as what any elder sister would be. It just that, in my case, the hate won over love. That’s why nobody doubted me. Instead, I was such a good sister that I would like to see if any other person will be able to suspect my facade. As someone who envied her own younger sister, no matter what she said and do, I will always be her elder sister. This was also a part of the truth. Besides that, this marriage was for appearance’s sake. In other words, it was a political manoeuvre. Therefore, who will, in the real sense, harboured any doubt about me?
The ceremony was not gorgeous. It was quite modest. My sister currently had ownership over some properties. However, she did not have any intention to make money as one would expect. She was the typical humble aristocrat, after all.
My sister had hidden it perfectly. During the ceremony, her way of enduring the tears desperately was viewed as her being sensitive from having her sister married off. With firm appearances, she gave her blessing, not only to me but also towards that man. Of course, I, as the proper elder sister, displayed my happiness over her felicitation. Except for my family and best friend, if I were to compare between her beloved man and my younger sister, it was still my younger sister that I want to toy within my palm. A~ I started to feel guilty from this dark pleasure.
But this was already good—three years, which were not too long nor too short. My younger sister had loves him since forever. He also loves my younger sister. I had hurt these two people due to my selfish desire. So much, that one day, when I woke up, I suddenly thought, really what I had been doing all this time. Because of that, I felt that with my cheating, it should be a good reason for a divorce. I chose a businessman as my perfect cheating partner. It will not be a crime for them to get together later on. There will be no one who will doubt that the two of them were in love with each other. Since I wanted to become the bad guy until the end, I will naturally escape from this place. I might cause inconvenience to my family, but this will be the last one. Let’s forgive and forget.
Furthermore, I am not lying when I said I have been cheating on my husband. Because truthfully, I have come to like my cheating partner. However, this love was not something that will come true from the beginning. No matter how scandalous I became from my shameless act, I don’t care. I will run far away to this remote place with the excuse of work circumstances. Originally, anywhere is good, but I was fortunate to be named, and soon I boarded the imperial carriage. This was also a convenient reason, though.
Anyway, today was a good day to go out. The sky was clear and beautiful. With the current state of my heart, I am sure that it was also like that.
….I will reject all letters that I will receive… It will be troublesome if they manage to track my whereabouts and chase after me… Like this, frankly, it won’t be enjoyable. My sister has her means. Therefore if I do not do this, she will discover me soon enough. It was detestable to be that stupid.
Well, once this document settled, I will be sunny and free. What shall we do once we reach the frontier?
Translator note: A bit dark and twisted but I guess the end is what matter.
It kind of make me think of “My Fiance is in Love with My Little Sister”.
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… (;∀;) let me cry a bit here… my poor heart…
thank you for the chapter…
Indeed, I remember when I was assaulted by feels so strong snot and tears came out. Man, even with the RAWS it was brutal. This story however…I’m a bit confused. Like, obviously she married him just to spite her sister and satisfy her ego. But the rest of the narrated events is abrupt, like a script she’s reading off on. Wonder who was the one she decided was a good target to settle a quick divorce, elopement what have you.
well not much details are given.. what I can feel is the love hate relationship she had with her sister…
Strange short story. Cause pain, but also wants to help her sister.
Thank you~
Humans are complicated.
Thanks so much for all your hard work!!!
Such tragic story…let see what will come and thanks Lady for your chapter
thank you
thanks—!
that was indeed a rather dark and weird story…urgh! but well, here’s hoping for happines from now on! but ‘my fiance loves my little sister’ that one just brings it a whole new level, oh woah…so much darkness and angst!
Waaa
Did she run away alone? She said that her love with her cheating partner wouldn’t come true….. that is sad….
Why don’t you translate “My Fiance is in Love with My Little Sister”? I think it is up for picks.
ha..ha.. I am quite averse to translate long story though I am happy to read one… I am afraid of abandoning the work in the middle of it…
Don’t worry, there is always someone who picks it
Now this is the second short story you translated that I regret reading.
This was poorly translated and you should’ve let anyone who is even remotely competent in english read this stuff before realising it.
Ha… Oh well, I will appreciate so much if you are willing to edit it and TLC it for me though… It is MTL btw as what is stated on my page banner…
I appreciate ur translation. I luv to read and cant say how awesome it is that u take effort to translate for our enjoyment
Wait, what did she meant by boarding the imperial carriage? That’s the only thing that’s bothering my mind.
My assumption is that, she might acted as an explorer or an ambassador representing the Kingdom.. therefore using the imperial carriage to go to the remote place.
i wished there was a longer Version to this.
or at least a second part with another pov